Spongebob Comes Out of the Closet
by BabySmitty
Summary: Our beloved little poriferan has a secret- but when he confides in his friends and family, how will they react!


"What can I do for you?" said Patrick. He plopped himself down onto the couch next to Spongebob.

"Yeah, Pat," said the little poriferan, slumping down. His hands were nervously clasped in his lap. He sweated a bit. "I need to tell you something… "

Patrick put his arm around Spongebob's shoulders. "You can talk to me about anything," he said comfortingly. "I'm your best friend. I won't tell anyone. I swear on my Best Friends Forever ring."

"Okay…" a hesitant Spongebob said. He gulped, and took a deep breath. His eyes welled up with tears. "Patrick, I'm…. gay."

The starfish laughed loudly. "Is that all?!" he said in disbelief. "No, seriously, what do you want to tell me? Is there a serial killer out to get you?"

Spongebob glared at Patrick. Angry tears rolled down his reddened cheeks. "Patrick, that's what I wanted to tell you! I'm gay!" He buried his face into his hands and cried. "I'm so ashamed!"

As he wept, Patrick looked at him, stunned. "Oh…" he said softly. He patted his friend on the back and gave him a big hug. "There, there… it's okay…"

"Do you still want to be my friend?" sniffled Spongebob. He wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

"Of course I do!" Patrick said. He grinned. "You're the best friend a guy could ask for." He chuckled. "Besides- I suspected that for a long time! But there is one little thing that confuses me… didn't you have a crush on Sandy?"

"Well… yeah," Spongebob said. "But that was just puppy love. It wasn't serious. He signed, and propped his chin up on his hands. He sniffled one more time. "What will my parents think? What will my… grandma think?" His lips wobbled.

"Oh, don't be like that," said Patrick. He rubbed his friend's back comfortingly. "They love you! You being gay won't change that. You're still their precious little baby." Patrick teasingly reached over and pinched Spongebob's freckled cheek.

Spongebob looked at Patrick with big, sparkly eyes. "Patrick…" he said. He suddenly wrapped his arms around Patrick and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Easy now," said Pat, trying to comfort him. "You're among friends."

"Spongeboy, me bob! Yer lookin' a bit pale" said Mr Krabs. "Are ya sick? You know yer not supposed ta show up ta work if yer-"

"No, no," Spongebob assured him. "I'm not sick. I just… um… can I talk to you, alone?"

"Well sure, me boy!" Krabs said. He led Spongebob into his office and shut the door. The crustacean sat at his desk and gestured to a chair. "Have a seat, lad. Tell me what's troublin' ye."

"Uh… if you don't mind me asking…" said Spongebob, taking off his hat. He wrung it nervously in his sweaty little hands. "What do you think of… gay people?"

"Well…" said Mr Krabs. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I think they're… well… as long as they're respectful payin' customers and don't take too much ketchup, I suppose they're all right."

Spongebob let out a nervous laugh. "What would you do if one of your employees told you they were gay?"

Mr Krabs smiled, took Spongebob's hat, and placed it back upon his porous yellow head. "I'd tell the little barnacle to get the anchors out of his pants and get back ta work," he said gently. Spongebob's cheeks blushed with a luminescent pink glow.

"Aye aye, sir!" he said, beaming. He began to rush back to the kitchen, until Krabs stopped him.

"Wait, me lad," he said.

"Yes, Mr Krabs?" asked Spongebob.

Krabs looked at him seriously. "Some o' the toughest, bravest men I met in the navy, are gay. Never be ashamed of who you are."

Spongebob smiled, and rushed back to his grill.

"Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!" said Spongebob, happily welcoming his parents into his home. He hugged them. "Oh, it's good to see you, son!" said Harold. "How have you been?" asked Margaret.

"I've been good," responded the sponge.

"Hi Spongebob's parents," Patrick said. Spongebob chuckled.

Grandma Squarepants walked through the doorway and scooped up little Bobby to give him a great big hug. "My, my! You've gotten shorter!" she said cheerfully.

Spongebob laughed again.

"C'mon, let's go to the kitchen for some cake!" said Patrick. As the Squarepants family made their way to the table, Patrick gave his friend an encouraging little thumbs-up. Spongebob smiled nervously.

Once everyone was seated, Spongebob placed a large, round cake upon the table. It was frosted in a delicate pink, and was dusted with tiny rainbow sprinkles. An icing rainbow adorned the sides. In the middle, also in rainbow icing, were the words "I'M GAY."

For a moment, the Squarepants family looked at the cake, speechless. Spongebob sweated nervously, and cast an uneasy glance to Patrick, who responded with a look that Sponge couldn't quite decipher. Then, all of a sudden, his parents and grandma stood up and cheered.

"Hooray!" they cried, standing up to embrace their little Bobby.

"I'm proud of you, Kiddo," said Harold, giving his son an affectionate rub to the head.

"Congratulations, to the happy couple!" said Grandma Squarepants, looking at Sponge and Pat.

Spongebob and Patrick looked at each other in surprise, then blushed. Patrick cleared his throat. "No, no, Grandma," said Spongebob. "Patrick's just my friend!"

"Hi," said Patrick awkwardly.

Grandma Squarepants blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry, Spongebob," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Grandma," he responded.

"Well… I know I'm not the only one looking forward to this lovely cake!" Margaret said.

They all laughed and sat back down. Spongebob was glad that his mother broke the tension.

Patrick ended up eating most of the cake.


End file.
